Boy Mom here, I love your writing! Curious to know if you have heard of the trend, "Urban Exploring"? It's a troubling trend where (mostly) teenage boys climb buildings, bridges, and break into old warehouses. It does not help that they have private IG accounts to share their conquests. Can we bring back good old rights of passage ceremonies for our boys? Concerned Mama!
That's just what kids used to do in the real world since time immemorial. Kids shouldn't be posting about it on social media, because that corrupts it; nevertheless, exploring ones local area, when no damage is done to the premises, in the spirit of adventure, is a worthwhile and valid thing for young people (and particularly men) to do.
Calculated risktaking is central to the experience of being a man - see Robert Sapolsky's talks on the subject of testosterone. Denying young men the ability to train their ability to evaluate and take calculated risks is a denial of one of their most distinguishing traits; this ability can be an immensely powerful positive force for society if it is well-calibrated and focused.
As a young man, the problem in our society today comes far more from obsessive protectionism, fear of liability/litigation, and widespread low-trust, than it does youths getting into trouble in the way youths literally always have in human history.
I grew up in the real world too, which is why my two teen sons have plenty of freedom to explore, camp, shoot off rockets in the desert, mountain bike, drive, and hang with friends. I was an adventurous teen myself, still am. This Urban Exploration trend is different. There’s pride in how risky the urban quest, and two 15 year old boys died in the Bay Area this summer attempting some extreme urban stunts. This includes balancing on bridges and skyscraper roofs, and “BART” surfing for “likes”. There’s an underground, private account, culty vibe and the consequences are deadly. Do you have teenagers who do this too? I didn’t think so.
“If we have to attach the label “masculine” to a behavior before it can have value to men, then we are subtly communicating that embracing anything associated with women is a demotion, even an indignity. “Positive masculinity” is not about de-gendering universal human qualities, and certainly not about encouraging boys to believe that they could have something to learn from women or female cultural norms. It’s more an attempt to scrub away the humiliating stain of womanhood from any trait or behavior before letting boys anywhere near it.”
Boy Mom here, I love your writing! Curious to know if you have heard of the trend, "Urban Exploring"? It's a troubling trend where (mostly) teenage boys climb buildings, bridges, and break into old warehouses. It does not help that they have private IG accounts to share their conquests. Can we bring back good old rights of passage ceremonies for our boys? Concerned Mama!
oh wow I haven’t heard of this! will look it up…
That's just what kids used to do in the real world since time immemorial. Kids shouldn't be posting about it on social media, because that corrupts it; nevertheless, exploring ones local area, when no damage is done to the premises, in the spirit of adventure, is a worthwhile and valid thing for young people (and particularly men) to do.
Calculated risktaking is central to the experience of being a man - see Robert Sapolsky's talks on the subject of testosterone. Denying young men the ability to train their ability to evaluate and take calculated risks is a denial of one of their most distinguishing traits; this ability can be an immensely powerful positive force for society if it is well-calibrated and focused.
As a young man, the problem in our society today comes far more from obsessive protectionism, fear of liability/litigation, and widespread low-trust, than it does youths getting into trouble in the way youths literally always have in human history.
I grew up in the real world too, which is why my two teen sons have plenty of freedom to explore, camp, shoot off rockets in the desert, mountain bike, drive, and hang with friends. I was an adventurous teen myself, still am. This Urban Exploration trend is different. There’s pride in how risky the urban quest, and two 15 year old boys died in the Bay Area this summer attempting some extreme urban stunts. This includes balancing on bridges and skyscraper roofs, and “BART” surfing for “likes”. There’s an underground, private account, culty vibe and the consequences are deadly. Do you have teenagers who do this too? I didn’t think so.
“If we have to attach the label “masculine” to a behavior before it can have value to men, then we are subtly communicating that embracing anything associated with women is a demotion, even an indignity. “Positive masculinity” is not about de-gendering universal human qualities, and certainly not about encouraging boys to believe that they could have something to learn from women or female cultural norms. It’s more an attempt to scrub away the humiliating stain of womanhood from any trait or behavior before letting boys anywhere near it.”
This!! So thought provoking, TY Ruth !
What exactly is thought provoking here?
Hello,
Will you offer another virtual masculinity discussion group this month?
November is Men's Health Awareness month after all.