Hi Ruth, I just finished reading your interview with Ann Helen Peterson and hopped over here to say what a fine and balanced understanding you presented there. What a good read to find on Father’s Day morning!
Well now I don’t know what to do because I drink too much tea and call my mother mum but I’m not British. Just kidding, the US version is already preordered!!
I am two chapters into your book, and I just have to say that for the first time in my parenting journey I feel so heard and understood. I'm a pediatrician and mom to three boys (9, 13, 16) who are noisy and high energy. My friends mostly had girls who loved to play in with their kitchen sets, paint, color, read, and make clothes for their barbies. Meanwhile, my boys were rough-housing and breaking stuff. We didn't go out to dinner together until the youngest was at least 6-7 because someone was always crawling under the table or punching a brother before our food arrived. I grew up with a single mom and a brother I trained well. I read Nancy Drew, did math problems for fun and loved anything cerebral and artsy. Now that I'm 16 years into the parenting journey, I appreciate the wild ride it has been and I have a better sense of acceptance, if that makes sense. I just appreciate that you can articulate these observations in such an articulate way.
On a side note, our community has a girls in STEM event each year when women with STEM jobs do fun presentations with the girls at the liberal arts college in our town. Women who are mathematicians, chemists, vets, docs, physicists, plant scientists, etc lead girls in fun projects to get them excited about these fields. There are lots of people wearing "the future is female" shirts. As a doctor, it seems unnecessary to get girls excited about medicine - they make up 60% of med students these days. And I've had boys ask why they don't get to have a day to get them excited about STEM jobs. My friend, a mathematician and mom to one boy and two girls, and I have backed away from this program because it makes less sense to not include boys.
Just preordered. That’s fascinating that the US version is “impossible masculinity,” but the UK “toxic masculinity,” was that decision led by the publisher?
yes! it's two different publishers and they each had their own team - I'm not sure why they each landed where they did but it is interesting! Thank you so much for pre-ordering!
I am so excited to read your book. I did pre-order it from our local bookstore, so I’m sure they’ll call me sometime this week and tell me that it actually exists.
Ah thanks so much- so glad the book is resonating- this means so much. I’ve also found it easier as they have gotten older. Yeah the STEM thing is so complicated- there’s a place near us that offers mechanic programs for kids of every gender except cis boys- I understand how they got there but it can also start to feel weirdly excluding
Hi Ruth, I just finished reading your interview with Ann Helen Peterson and hopped over here to say what a fine and balanced understanding you presented there. What a good read to find on Father’s Day morning!
oh thank you so much! that's lovely to hear. Happy Fathers' Day!
Wonderful essay in the NYT introducing Boymom 👏🏼https://www.nytimes.com/2019/10/10/opinion/sunday/feminism-lean-in.html?unlocked_article_code=1.yk0.REO1.yUopYhUzn3qg&smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare&sgrp=c-cb&fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAR3dw9WLuREtzo7hM9_ojKOercgYmP3MnXJHWxl3ZSyLBMqrYL-TX5xoViU_aem_ARb_CbRa-RZOa71niGnEAttJlcbQbJPubGfsPO01AWbI9tIFuk1eP3qQxgBPwfkTJssu1o_dTYF4uWjy61xwHlwa
oh thank you so much! I think this is an old essay but definitely some similar themes!
I also wrote this one for the NYT last week which is more specifically about Boymom and my research with boys:
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/06/05/opinion/boys-parenting-loneliness.html
Thanks so much for reading and commenting!
Oh dear, that’s the one I meant to copy and paste, ach! I’ll edit, thanks!
Well now I don’t know what to do because I drink too much tea and call my mother mum but I’m not British. Just kidding, the US version is already preordered!!
and also thank you so much x
omg, I can’t believe i fell into the “forgetting Canada” trap!
Haha! I’m not sure how much tea Canadians drink as a whole but god knows I do (though I admit I desperately miss coffee).
Haha! I’m not sure how much tea Canadians drink as a whole but god knows I do (though I admit I desperately miss coffee).
I am two chapters into your book, and I just have to say that for the first time in my parenting journey I feel so heard and understood. I'm a pediatrician and mom to three boys (9, 13, 16) who are noisy and high energy. My friends mostly had girls who loved to play in with their kitchen sets, paint, color, read, and make clothes for their barbies. Meanwhile, my boys were rough-housing and breaking stuff. We didn't go out to dinner together until the youngest was at least 6-7 because someone was always crawling under the table or punching a brother before our food arrived. I grew up with a single mom and a brother I trained well. I read Nancy Drew, did math problems for fun and loved anything cerebral and artsy. Now that I'm 16 years into the parenting journey, I appreciate the wild ride it has been and I have a better sense of acceptance, if that makes sense. I just appreciate that you can articulate these observations in such an articulate way.
On a side note, our community has a girls in STEM event each year when women with STEM jobs do fun presentations with the girls at the liberal arts college in our town. Women who are mathematicians, chemists, vets, docs, physicists, plant scientists, etc lead girls in fun projects to get them excited about these fields. There are lots of people wearing "the future is female" shirts. As a doctor, it seems unnecessary to get girls excited about medicine - they make up 60% of med students these days. And I've had boys ask why they don't get to have a day to get them excited about STEM jobs. My friend, a mathematician and mom to one boy and two girls, and I have backed away from this program because it makes less sense to not include boys.
I am reading it now!! 🙌🏻
Yay! I hope you enjoy it!!
Just preordered. That’s fascinating that the US version is “impossible masculinity,” but the UK “toxic masculinity,” was that decision led by the publisher?
yes! it's two different publishers and they each had their own team - I'm not sure why they each landed where they did but it is interesting! Thank you so much for pre-ordering!
I am so excited to read your book. I did pre-order it from our local bookstore, so I’m sure they’ll call me sometime this week and tell me that it actually exists.
ah lovely thank you so much!
Book birthday on two continents...How good is that!!! Can't wait to read.
I hope you like it!
Ah thanks so much- so glad the book is resonating- this means so much. I’ve also found it easier as they have gotten older. Yeah the STEM thing is so complicated- there’s a place near us that offers mechanic programs for kids of every gender except cis boys- I understand how they got there but it can also start to feel weirdly excluding